Not a day goes by without a clear example of why Bloomberg's New York is such a maddening, offensive and increasingly soulless place to live.

For today's example, we offer you this:

Olafur Eliasson's "Waterfalls" -- four Erector Sets leaking water into the East River -- cost $15 million (say that with a Dr. Evil voice, especially over the $2 million in public money). The vampiric steward of our decaying city (above, right) blathered something about $59 million being generated for the city's coffers. That's government officials like Bloomberg's go-to excuse for wasting money and resources. All of NYC's new stadiums (and the one not going up in Brooklyn). Big "because we can" fartworks like this or last year's "Gates" in Central Park. The Bon Jovi concert just announced for the Great Lawn, where Mayor Mike's construct is that what's good for white rock'n'roll fans isn't good for RNC demonstrators.

According to the rhetoric, all these things are supposed to fiscally enrich the City of New York. Hard to imagine the art-opening crowd in the photo above much interested in funding of schools, mass transit, health programs and homeless services -- many of which just saw cuts in the new city budget. They do look smug and self-congratulatory...but they would be, crowding up to the mayor like that.

In fact, it's rare that something like this makes money for the city. Flashy new edifices often sap money going to small businesses. For instance, folks wouldn't spend more money on the Nets should they ever come to Brooklyn...they'd spend less on other things -- eating out, going to the movies, vacations. (And with the projected cost of a Nets ticket, you'd have to trade an entire vacation for a couple of decent seats.)

River water tumbling meekly off scaffolds isn't nearly the problem that the Atlantic Yards is, of course. Dopey and disappointing as Eliasson's efforts are, they're not really hurting anyone. Well, not counting whoever could've used the $2 million the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation stuffed in Eliasson's pocket, likely at the mayor's behest.


Part of the problem is timing, as it always is with Atlantic Yards. The economy's crashing, so Ratner asks for more public money for his failing luxury-condo development. The AY arena is a billion-dollar money pit, so Ratner declares his Nets are "rebuilding," sports-world code for "we'll really blow the next few years." Barclays continues funding the murderous Mugabe regime in Zimbabwe, so Ratner keeps touting his Barclays Center to Brooklynites who, really, would rather not be reminded of Barclays' dalliances with the slave trade, apartheid, the Congo civil war, Nazis in occupied France, and now Mugabe, so Ratner reminds Brooklynites of those horrors every time he utters the words "Barclays" or "Center."

Ratner, emboldened by state officials he counts as both pals and sugar-daddies/mommies, keeps pushing Atlantic Yards as though it's still 2003, when the economy, at least, wasn't one of the dozens of reasons the Atlantic Yards superblocks are such a bad idea on so many levels.

Now, the economy has come into play. Ratner and Bloomberg, wealthy men with a nasty shared habit of condescending to everyone less well-off than them, have never understood the keyest of political bromides, "it's the economy, stupid." Ratner doesn't get it with Atlantic Yards, and Bloomberg doesn't get it with every single big-ticket item he forces his minions to hiss about every time a camera's present.


It's understood, of course, that the mayor likes the limelight something fierce. Let him handle this one:

"The project promises to make a big splash in our local economy by attracting thousands of sightseers to town, who will then spend money in our restaurants, hotels and stores," Bloomberg said.

There you go -- art for commerce's sake. This from a mayor whose city makes it harder for artists to live, study and create. If you can make money for my city, Bloomberg seems to say, then your art is of use to me.

It's reeky enough when it's sports stadiums. But art..that's really a stretch. Herein emerges the neat dovetail into the big question -- is this art, or just an expensive engineering project? We could discuss this well past the cows and their nightly Operation Coming Home.

What "Waterfalls" isn't is "waterfalls." Imagine the towers at big outdoor rock concerts, like the ones (the kinds people were climbing while on not-specifically-good brown acid at Woodstock). Now, imagine sticking four of those in the East River and New York Harbor. Note their complete disengagement from the surrounding vista. (Eliasson seems to have embraced Frank Gehry's insulting "I don't do context" rejoinder to Atlantic Yards opponents.) Finally, picture Niagara Falls with the taps turned off and just a trickle of pitiful misty runoff.

A lot of people must be whispering "you know, it looked better in the original renderings."


Waterfalls.


...mmmm, not so much. The engineer and his sugar-daddy.

$15 million for this. Imagine if the funders had spread that money around to young, struggling artists -- the kind whose passion and daring trump the 200 consultants Eliasson employed for his not-erfalls. It'd be a lot better to hear choruses of "Cool, I can make my art, for real! I'm gonna change the world!" rather than Eliasson's disconnected artspeak: "Generally speaking, we can, when looking at a waterfall, say a lot about the wind, the sound, there's a lot of other ephemeral qualities which kind of amplify the physical nature of the water, rather than being a flat plane in a riverbed it becomes, let's say, a way of measuring the space."

Just to be clear, nothing wrong with spending taxpayer money on art. There should be more of that...lots more. But it should go to artists who need it, not bloated ego-trips by all the startists flush with money and friends in high places who can get them more of it.

With all the hurtin' New York City is going through, the mayor keeps fiddlin' away on fancy sparkly thingies. Bloomberg wants New York to be exciting for tourists and his cocktail-party buddies.

How about liveable for the rest of the citizenry.

...that'd be really exciting!